Why people have affairs?
Talk about a loaded issue that no one wants to talk about, that’s it. Funny thing, married dating have been going on ever since the beginning of the world. Affairs can be filled with troubles, cause heartache, and other problems. Plus you must wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and frankness thing, funds, age difference, religious education, guilt, and on and on. I anticipate there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this post I will identify an affair as a long term, maybe weeks long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other persons, married date.
Why do married people have affairs? There are as many reasons as there are man seeking woman for affair. I suppose mostly though it is only the human nature, the need for liking, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and respected. Here are a few reasons I have run across.
Naturally we as humans are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasant and fun, and sex makes us get away the world for a small period of time. This ecstasy exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Someone are able to switch the craving on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and old, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the pursue. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another person, for some it is the desire to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the total romance thing. These wishes and yearnings can be so strong they overcome the taboos the world has erected against affairs. For many individuals the yearnings will overcome their fears and make them risk the fury of not only their family, but society too. So why, what is the method?
Sex Addicts, maybe some of us are. Sex is terribly good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically driven sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not wound your spouse or anyone else? You will need to reduce the hazard you are taking. If you have the attitude that a good affair is one that is advantageous to everyone, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the biggest grouping, enormous truly. There are many couples whose marriage is over, but they are comfy in the way they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Then there are the kids to consider. Your finances are so knotted. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to be jointly besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that prevent them completing the sex act, at least not with their spouse. An marital affair at times solves the trouble while keeping the marriage undamaged.
Neglect, sorrowfully this is a frequent groung I fear. One or the other, as a rule the man is sexually neglecting his wife for a multitude of reasons. As a man I truly am thankful to you guys neglecting your girls and making them obtainable to us guys of romance, making them “lonely wives” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but evil.
Something is just omitted in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Perhaps its romance that is missing, maybe it is a lack of love, could be caring is disappeared, could be it is the closeness, could be neglect. Maybe we have just grown apart, our general interests diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is contradictory of what you want. Could be I simply don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that emotion that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The major reason people give is, they seek the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run off, for financial gain, for revenge and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.
Tags: affairs, Dating, dating married people, extramarital affairs, Marriage, married dating, seeking an affair